23 April, 2014

As we write a new chapter of our life... In India!


My mind is filled with millions of thoughts and my heart is beating at the pace that is giving me scare! My hands are trembling and I feel bit nauseous. It looks like I am showing every signs of nervous breakdown as I try to calm my loud heart. I am afraid that loud noise of my beating heart will wake my Lil Dumpling lying next to me without any worry in the world. How I wish I could sleep that way without having to worry about anything! Well, it’s been a while since I slept through the night without worrying about the never ending list of things to do...



As I try to calm the voices that shout and scream loudly in my mind, I look around the dimly lit room that was once filled with little bits and pieces of our life. This is a room where we three lay our head in the night on a soft pillow, cuddling and hugging one another, our arms thrown carelessly around each other and our legs tangled under the blanket. I try to visualise the bed, the dresser, cloths in the closets, photo frames scattered around the room, night lights, piles of books and many other pieces of furnishing that once made this room a peaceful sanctuary are now carefully wrapped in a bubble wrap and packed in a brown cardboard boxes. I slowly get up from the makeshift bed on the floor, not to wake my little boy, and tip toe to next room which is as bare as the room I just left. I run down the stairs, very well knowing the sight that will welcome me. I walk from one room to another that were once filled with pieces and mementos of our lives, colours, cushions, books, toys, lovingly hand picked knick-knacks, pots and pans, photos and frames, cry and laughter, tears and joy, light, warmth and every other things that makes a house into a home. It’s all gone! It’s now just an empty shell… But…






But isn’t this that we longed for so long?! Isn’t this what we planned for for the last 2 years?! Isn’t this what we were dreaming of for 3 of us?! Slowly I can feel my heart beats resuming to its normal pace… I can feel my head clearing and the light returning to my eyes. Slowly the panic is replaced with joy and the anxiety gives way to new dreams in the horizon! My mind which felt overcrowded, as the thoughts competed with each other pushing and stampeding for the attention and driving me crazy, comes to a standstill as I look around our house that gave us much more than we ever thought!







It’s time to say goodbye to the home that gave us so much joy, happiness and love. It’s time to say goodbye to the country that gave us each other, our very first home, helped us to build our careers and our future! We are moving out of the country that we have grown to care and love. It’s time to say goodbye to the place that has become our abode in the last decade. The pain of leaving this place and the friends we love is inevitable. Saying goodbye to the the home that we loving built over the years is harder than I ever imagined! For husband and me this is our second home in this country, but it is the most special one as this is where Lil Dumpling was born. This is the home where he cried, smiled, burped, puked, giggled, gurgled, laughed, chewed, rolled, crawled, stood, walked, jumped, climbed, skipped, messed, broke our hearts, mended our heart, loved, tickled, spilled tears, gave kisses and cuddles, talked, sang, scribbled and turned our lives upside down! This is so much more than bricks and mortar, as we built this house with joy, tears, laughter, love and soul!
It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I'd much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.
~ Ernie Harwell
Moving back to India is probably the toughest decision we have ever made! We always wanted to return to our root, our home, and our country, which is completely different to the country that we left many years ago. Over the years we have grown to love the methodical, carefree and smooth life that we have built for ourselves in this country. But there’s something really charming about the unorderly, difficult and chaotic country that we call our home pulls our heart strings.








For the last two years we mulled over the idea of leaving this country and returning to India. Now the time has finally come to uproot our lives and start living our long time dream of returning to a place that will always be our home. India has changed a lot over the last decade that we were away from it. We know that it is not going to be an easy transition for all 3 of us, especially for Lil Dumpling. But the prospect of being close to the family excites us beyond any doubts and fears that harbors our mind.
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
~ Dr. Seuss

As I sit in a corner of our empty house, my mind is nothing but empty! The little voices in my head ask me if we are doing the right thing or have we taken the right decision?! To say I am quite scared would be an understatement. I am scared and worried for not able to fit back, for not able to relate to the way of life in India, for not able to adjust to 'swalpa adjust maadi' attitude. But the joy I feel for finally be able to show my country to my little one is making me giddy with excitement. So it must be the excitement that is kicking out all that fear and anxiety from my heart.







As we literally count the number of days with fingers in our hand, I am trying to push away the the worry and uncertainties of the life that lays ahead of us. Instead I am thinking of the actions and excitement that awaits us as we begin to build our life in a new place! I am not sure when I can come back here to chronicle our journey, adventure, experience and life in a new place. So some of my very talented blog friends, whom I respect tremendously, will share their lovely recipes with you all. Please make sure to come back and peek into their amazing creations when I am away. :)



Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Stay with us as we write new chapter of our life in India, as we embrace new challenges, jump in to the roller coaster ride which will take us to another side of the globe and dive into the new life awaiting us in the vibrant, chaotic and colourful country! Next time when I finally get time to pen down my thoughts, I will be ranting, rambling and complaining about the hot weather in India instead of cloudy, grey and rainy weather in Britain! ;) Somethings will never change… Please send us your good wishes and positive energy as we embark on another adventurous journey and walk towards the new beginnings!

52 comments:

  1. Ohhhhhhh you are moving to Inida now i am sad , i always thought i will once meet you an lil D in UK.
    But i think it is a good decesion , we always says when Hans retire we will move to India ( depending on one's health) as we love India so much.
    Are you moving to Mysore. Good luck with everything to all three of you.

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  2. As I read through the post, I can sense your anxiety.... all the very best for the move. Even though India is our country and we have to be there at one point of our lives, going to "live there forever" is something that I cannot take mentally. May the Almighty make it all easy for you... :)

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  3. You have a wonderful home! A difficult decision indeed... Best of luck with the move.

    Cheers,

    Rosa

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  4. Sai, I know I never wrote a comment on your posts before , but today I decided to do reading this. I have been I your situation 2 years back, I know how you feel . I my 2 cent to you would be , just go to india with no expectations, deal with each day as it comes. Don't plan too much ahead and take things as it comes. Then you will surely enjoy the ride. India has changed in lot of ways, but its our country and you will adjust with no difficulty . Some times you need to take a chance to understand if its a good decision or not. Since you have decided don't look back, life ahead will be much more exiting. Good luck!!

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  5. Gorgeous pictures Sia. I'm sure the new chapter holds much excitement and cheer for you and your family. Welcome back!

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  6. Good luck with the move. You decorated the house beautifully. I am sure you will do the same in the new home.

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  7. Hey sia. .. dont worry girl. . All will be fine. .I nearly cried reading your blog. Its sad. . But life had to go on. Love lots and hugs lakshmi

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  8. I know how difficult it would be to leave a place which you never thought of leaving....I had been through this phase....you know the kids get adjust to the new surroundings very easily...it is like fun activity to them....Happy Moving.....wishing you luck...the new place bring you happiness, peace and joy.....Welcome back Sia....

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  9. Good Luck Sia..best wishes and prayers are always with you!! Hugs :)
    Welcome to India!!

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  10. Your house is so beautiful...can sense the anxiety in your writing...things will all fall in place soon...all the very best for this new adventure....keep us posted
    Luv,
    Shruthi

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  11. Your house is so so beautiful,loved the clicks...i can sense the anxiety in your writing...things will all fall in place soon...all the very best for this new adventure..keep us posted...
    Shruthi

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  12. Your house is so beautiful...can sense the anxiety in your writing...things will all fall in place soon...all the very best for this new adventure....keep us posted
    Luv,
    Shruthi

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  13. I was so not expecting this!
    I can sense the excitement and anxiety all at once. It is going to an adventure with so many twists and turns. Take care, dear friend. Wishing you all a happy move and a contented life back in India.

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  14. All the best Sia and have a safe journey!!!!

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  15. I can feel your excitement and anxiety both. Take it as a new beginning. All the best. You will be happy and well settled even before you know .

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  16. Good luck with your move and all the best on your new adventure !!

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  17. Ooooh I totally understand how you feel Sia ! Everything is for good! All the best and sending you loads of hugs :) everything will be fine once you settle there, kisses to lil one.

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  18. I can empathize Sia but I am not sure if I will be bold enough to make this decision. Wishing you a hassle free move. Hope you settle down soon. Take good care of the little boy. Hugs.

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  19. That's a beautiful home :)..Can feel your anxiety..Have a happy Move :)

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  20. Good luck Sia, may the next phase of adventure be fun filled and gratifying

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  21. I almost cried reading the post. Very well written Sia. I can understand the turmoil you are going through. I am sure it will all work out. All the very best in life. Come back to the blog world whenever you are ready again. We will wait.

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  22. Have been there, moved to India, 2 years back, will get over it slowly dear, good luck..

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  23. Thats a very emotional article i have ever read..not article really!
    All the best for ur new life Sia..a person like you can win the world anywhere..so how i know you?? Someone told me that house is the index of a womans mind! Such a beautiful abode u made it. Lovely!

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  24. Hey Sia... My eyes moistened... But i am sure u will be fine... You will have apprehensions n doubts till the moment Yu land in your motherland.... But the moment ur family is with u.... 70% of these apprehensions will disappear....i wish u all the best.... I came back to Mumbai 5 yrs ago... Initially the smooth life in Edinburgh made me doubt our decision. But India then n now has changed drastically... Some for good n some for worse.... But don't worry.... U knw the best thing abt returning to India (fun times with family is one) is U will have the accessibility to a MAID.... Yippeeee....(just trying to make u c a pro ;)..... Whr r Yu moving to India... Have a safe journey n Good Luck,... Lots of hugs n good wishes... Meanwhile i am here...

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  25. Sia, this post made me go through each of your emotions as you walked me around the home you're about to leave. In the first half, I felt my tummy go whoosh - I could imagine myself in your place. And then as you saw hope, I found myself cheering you on. A big hug for your big journey, and many good wishes to help you find your feet.

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  26. All the very very best sia. Wish I could have helped more at a time you needed it. This is your best Post yet :) I'll be around to see you when you're back to the blog

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  27. Wishing you three all the best sia.I wish I could've helped more when you needed it. But, I'll be around when you are back to writing here, from India :)

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  28. Dear Sia, I am sure this must not have been a very easy decision; but home is where the heart is, and I am sure, with your loved ones around, you will make a happy, contented home wherever you go. Wishing you three all the very best with the move. Lots of love and hugs; wish we met someday; maybe we will, one day!

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  29. Such a well written article with fabulous pics. loved your home pics. Its very well decorated, We can all relate to your feelings and insecurity. Dont worry. Just breathe slowly and handle each thing as it comes. You are going to be near your family. For the hundred worries in your mind, hope millions of happiness is awaiting you in India. Chill and enjoy. All the very best for your move :)

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  30. Good Luck with the move! I will be waiting to hear your varied experiences (food and not food related).

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  31. Loved the post Sia. Been there and know exactly how it feels to leave a home that you built with so much love. All the best to you guys for the new phase. Will look forward for the new posts and pictures of LD playing happily in another equally beautiful new home... :)

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  32. Such a beautiful home and such a beautiful article.
    You have indeed poured out your feelings so very well.
    All the very best for this new chapter in your life.

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  33. As tears of joy and excitement and fear escalate ....remember every step we take is a part of a journey. And life is not about the destination to which we end up, but all the wonderful things we get to experience in our journeying. Home is wear the heart is .... The rest are just more wonderful adventures in the journey of our life! Have a wonderful journey back home to where your heart is.... And thank you for letting us be a part of your wonderful journey! Blessings! Written by Julianne Twyman

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  34. As tears of joy and excitement and fear escalate ....remember every step we take is a part of a journey. And life is not about the destination to which we end up, but all the wonderful things we get to experience in our journeying. Home is wear the heart is .... The rest are just more wonderful adventures in the journey of our life! Have a wonderful journey back home to where your heart is.... And thank you for letting us be a part of your wonderful journey! Blessings! Written by Julianne Twyman

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  35. Your house is very well decorated, inviting and warm Sia.

    Oh! let me tell you if you are coming back because you want to and not because of kids or this or that you will settle down sooner. Yes there will be glitches, you will not like the system blah blah. But soon you will learn to work this system too just like you did it when you moved to foreign shores. All the best!

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  36. Wish you all the very best! May be move go as smoothly as possible!

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  37. Oh my! Welcome to the club of People Who Really Did It! We told people for so many years that we were going to move back to Nepal that it was like a running joke. Even my mother-in-law said, "Yeah right, in your dreams." (Well, she said it in Nepali, but trust me, it had exactly that feeling.) When we finally made the big move, it was SO hard. And that's good, because it means you've made a life you like -- so it's hard to tear yourself away, even to do something else you also really, really want to do. Ah, an international move: kind of like taking off a BandAid reeeeally slowly and having Chinese water torture while being stuffed into a too-small suitcase. But it's worth it. I'm so happy we did it, and you will be too. Once you've cleaned the house, thrown stuff out, had a yard sale, thrown out more stuff, cleaned some more, found gifts for all your second cousins and grandfather's niece's husband's sisters in India, and then got another suitcase just for the gifts ... It's a weird and wonderful adventure. Although the packing part is not the best part of it.

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  38. Quite a touching post Sia, I can relate to your emotions and state of mind as you've written this here. Yes, moving countries will not be easy, especially when you are accustomed to the Western lifestyle and have spent decades there. Kids, below 5 years of age get adjusted to new place quite soon as its about travel, new folks and lots of fun. Its easier for them to forget the past and accept changes. Its harder for adults.

    But trust me Sia, India has changed by leaps and bounds. You have access to every possible thing here today. The greatest joy is being able to have a maid to do housework, hire a cook, a driver or gardener. If you are in IT field and based in Bangalore, then job prospects are very high than you could imagine. For kids, you have several good schools and many international schools with a healthy competitive environment. Unlike in the West, where you have constant fear of child getting into drug abuse or other problems likewise, I always believed that most Indian kids, even the average learners are more rooted and excel well in life. Did you and me study in the west? Didn't we all do well in our lives? You'll have good family support, your folks around, so the home is always here and is yours. Yes, there are issues like traffic, dirt and pollution. But put them aside and think over. There are pros and cons everywhere, depends on what you weigh higher. So wishing you a happy move to India and trust in your decision, because what happens is always for good.

    On another note, the job prospects are good in India and hence you could always find a project where you can consider moving back to the West (may be another country too!) again in future. So think positive and good luck. Wishing you happy, safe and memorable journey back home.

    BTW, your home is beautifully done. I loved it!

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  39. Wow.. am in love with the way you have done your home. Yor are inspriring those many who are away from home and fear a comeback. All the best for new start with new challenges . Will await for lil dumpling tales, as I really feel connected with it .

    Loves

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  40. Good luck Sia, I am sure you will be just fine. I can understand your anxiety. But once you are back home, you will love it. Like some one already said, take life as it comes without too much of expectation. But sometimes you get a lot when you dont expect for it and that will surely bring joy to your face. And I know very well that this blog wont stop no matter what the weather is and which part of the globe you are in! All the very best to you!

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  41. Love this post..and love the positive vibe in your house :)
    I know, that would have been a very difficult move.but as mom says, this too shall pass..you all are gonna be alrite..best wishes

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  42. Good luck Sia....All the very best.
    Lovely home

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  43. Good luck on your move Sia!

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  44. dont worry sia ,this is such a diff decision to make .Remember u made the right one .This is the beginning and evrything will go fine thereafter .TC .
    Ur house is unbelievable ,making a new house like this is little difficult but it will give u more joy n keep u engaged .have a safe journey

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  45. loved this space of yours Sia.. awesome posts. can very well relate to what goes on your mind.take care have a safe journey and fresh start. look forward to your next post

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  46. What a lovely heartfelt post with gorgeous photos. I have adored your space for a long while now - many years in fact. Thank you for the inspiration you have inspired in me. Best wishes for your change of place.

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  47. As you embark on a new beginning I wish you all the best.... and welcome back to our country !

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  48. hello Sia.. what a lovely house.. I bet its really hard to move.. all the very best for your future... btw how did u manage to plant curry leaves ??!!

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